La Douleur Exquise
by Page1of365
Summary: "Was I addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain, of loving someone so unattainable?" HEA
1. Chapter 1

**The story of two people who are destined to be together, but things keep getting in the way.**

 **Disclaimer: All character owned by Cassandra Clare in the TMI series.**

 **Summary: Clary and Jace have been best friends for a while, but when surprising news comes about, their lives are altered and they don't know if they can ever get back.**

 **Chapter 1.**

"Oh crap, oh crap, _oh crap_! I'm going to be late," I yell as I see the time on my clock.

 _8:50 pm._

I grab my leather jacket and run out the front door, down the steps, and onto the busy streets of New York City.

"Taxi!"

 _Crap._ _I'm not going to be able to get a taxi at this time of night,_ I think.

"Taxi!" I yell into the streets. A taxi driver pulls to the curb. I jump in the cab and slam the door shut, "Can you take me to Pandemonium?" I ask the driver. He nods in response.

The weather is making my mood sour, which really sucks because today was supposed to be a special day. You see, today is my 26th Birthday and Isabelle decided to throw a surprise party for me at a nightclub called Pandemonium. Well, it was supposed to be a surprise until I overheard a conversation between her and Jace the other day.

 _Jace_

Jace and I have been best friends since college. I can't really say we were friends before college; we were simply the kids who lived down the road from one another. He was best friends with Alec, who also happened to be the older brother to my best friend, Isabelle. Long story short, he and I ended up going to NYU after high school, which was a total coincidence on our part.

Not long after we discovered that we were in some of the same classes together, we became study buddies and eventually best friends. You would think that would be great, getting to spend time with this amazing guy, _this guy_ who appeared to be absolutely flawless, right? Wrong. He was a partier. He liked to go out, have a fun time, date countless of girls, and rebel against everything his parents wanted him to be. The complete opposite of me. I preferred the silence of the library or to spend limitless hours just drawing, sketching, and painting. Jace and I were like sunshine and rain or loud and silent, but like the old saying goes, "opposite things attract." Well, at least on my part because even though we had a big amount a difference's and a few similarities, I fell in love with him.

I was fine with it, too.

I went years keeping it a secret because I knew that he probably didn't feel the same, he probably never would. There would be times, though, that I would try to work up the courage to tell him but I never could. It didn't matter anyways because on one eventful night, when I was out having a dinner at our favorite restaurant Takis with him, one of our old classmates from high school, Kaelie, saw us and came over to our dinner table to say hi. I was sure in for it that night. She just _had to_ flirt with Jace and _steal_ him away with all her blonde beauty. She didn't steal him literally of course, but at the same time… she did.

*Flashback *

 _Jace had asked me to dinner that afternoon right before the final exam. He said it would be to celebrate the end of our college life and also for putting up with his, and I quote, " awesome self the whole way through." I, not surprisingly, said yes._

 _So, here I was now, walking through the door to Taki's feeling nervous has hell. I had Isabelle help me pick out my outfit for tonight which ended up being a simple black dress with a pearl necklace, my hair in a ponytail and some cute black flats. She insisted that I look fabulous for this date. I told her it wasn't a date or anything even close to a date, that it was solely just a casual dinner among friends. She laughed in my face and said, "Sure honey, whatever helps you sleep at night." She already knew how I felt towards Jace and what he felt towards me, so I don't know why she would say something like that._

 _I finally spotted him in a booth near the back. Taki's was a quaint little place, with a romantic mood in the air but at the same time, it felt like you could come in here to sit back and relax, and maybe sip some tea while you read a book._

 _I smiled and waved at him while he stood up to greet me._

 _"You look absolutely beautiful," Jace said. He picked up my hand and kissed the back of it. The kiss was feather light but made my fingers tingle all the same._

 _I looked down so he couldn't see me blush. "You don't look too bad yourself, handsome."_

Wow, Clary, way to go, do you call that flirting? OMG, stop blushing!

" _You want to go take a seat?"_

 _"Yeah, that'd be great," I mumbled. I gave a small smile and he led the way to the table._ ___

 _Twenty minutes later, and I was laughing my head off._

 _"No way!" I nearly yelled through my laughter, "You did what? You've got to be kidding me!"_

 _"I'm dead serious, I once ran down the street naked with only antlers on my head, too drunk to realize what I was doing," He retorted. He had a serious facial expression but I could tell he was trying not to laugh by the way the corners of his mouth kept curling up and his cheeks were flushed red from suppressing laughter._

 _"I hope you didn't realize what you were doing or else I would say you're insane! Did anyone see? " I don't think he saw that our hands were almost touching on the table and man was I freaking out. I just wanted to grab his hand and never let go._

Calm down clary! Gosh, get you game together!

 _"No, at least I hope no one saw, but Alec told me that the street was empty."_

 _"Well, that's good, that would have been so embarrassing for you- wait, why was Alec there?"_

 _"Like I said, it was after a party and I needed someone to take me home, so who better than Alec?" he smirked._

 _"Lucky you," I said sarcastically and we busted out laughing._

 _"Ok, ok," he said as we calmed down a bit, "Now you have to tell me something about you that's embarrassing."_

 _"Um…. I don't know..." I hated talking about embarrassing memories._

 _"Who was your first kiss?" He said. He had a look of pure curiosity on his face. It just made me feel all the more nervous._

 _"Uh…." I dragged the seconds on for as long as I could._

 _"Oh come on Clary, you can tell me anything, we've been best friends since the beginning of college and you never tell me when I ask."_

 _"That's because it's something I don't like to recall," I grumble._

 _He cracked a smile. "It can't be as embarrassing as me running naked down a street, can it be?"_

 _I smiled, "yeah it can be."_

 _His smile broadened even more. I loved it when he smiled like that; it made his golden eyes glow brilliantly. It was so not helping me be stubborn right now. "Let me guess. Was it with someone I know?"_

 _I felt my cheeks flush. Jace's eyes grew large._

 _"Are you serious? It's someone I know? Am I good friends with them?"_

 _"Jace-" I started._

 _"Is it Meliorn?" he interjected._

 _I crinkled my nose at that. Meliorn was one of Jace's friends from high school that I never really liked. He was the type of guy that was desperate to get any kind of "action" he could and that always disgusted me._

 _"No, not Meliorn, what about-"_

 _"Clary?!" a female voice shouted._

 _We both turned our head towards the voice._

 _"Kaelie?" I asked confused._

 _I haven't seen her since High school. I never really liked her either but I at least tolerated her. She was one of the Popular Girls. They were the girls that had rich parents, all the nice clothes, and had all the guys wrapped around their fingers. I never saw her and Jace together but what am I supposed to know? I never paid close attention to Jace in High School._

 _"Oh My God, I haven't seen you since High School Graduation! Look at you! You look gorgeous! Oooh and who is this?" She said as she spotted Jace for the first time. She flipped her hair, stuck out her chest, and got a flirtatious look in her eyes._

Well, she hasn't lost her ways with men since High School.

 _I looked towards Jace only to see him looking at Kaelie with a smirk on his face. I tried to ignore the pang of jealousy I got when I saw him looking at her the same way she was looking at him._

 _"This is-"_

 _"Jace Herondale, " he interrupted me with a charming smile, "It's a pleasure to meet you."_

 _"It's a pleasure to meet you, too." She giggled out._

 _She turned to me, "Do you mind if I sit down with you guys for a minute?"_

 _"Umm sure, Jace?" I looked at Jace to see if that was ok with him but he was only looking at her and all her beauty._

 _"Yeah, that's fine by me," He said as she slid on next to him in the booth._

 _"Great! Let's get this reunion started then, " She squealed, "Excuse me, Waiter! Can you get us three shots of tequila? Thanks!"_

 _I choked down the disappointment clogging my throat and asked, "So you guys never met in High School?"_

 _"What do you mean, clary?" Jace said questioningly._

 _"All of us went to high school together Jace," I said, clearly with the sound of "duh" in my voice._

 _"We did?" asked Kaelie looking surprised, " I don't remember seeing you there, Jace, and I was pretty popular, I think I would remember a guy that looks as attractive as you." She smiled a sickeningly sweet smile and put a hand on his arm._

 _"Really? That's weird, I was popular, also." He smirked, and I could see his eyes trailing down to her cleavage._

 _I rolled my eyes. It was true, they were both in the popular crowd, but how they never met each other dumbfounds me. I was never popular in high school, but I had plenty of popular friends._

 _Right then, the waiter brought us the tequila shots._

 _"Oh good, let's play truth or dare now that the booze are here!" said Kaelie excitedly leaving the previous question left unanswered._

 _"Ok," I said before dumping back the first tequila shot._

 _"Jace, you first. Truth or Dare," Kaelie said with a devilish smile playing on her lips._

 _"Dare," he said with a skeptical look._

 _"I dare you to ask Clary on a real date!" she exclaimed with a smirk._

 _I swear my jaw dropped to the floor._

 _"What?" Jace spluttered out._

 _"You heard me, ask her on a real date. It's pretty obvious that this isn't a date or you wouldn't have let me sit down with you guys and also it looks like Clary has been a little jealous ever since I've gotten here, so do it… ask her on a real date."_

 _Jace looked at me in shock. Heck, I was in shock._

 _I finally gathered my scattered brain enough to laugh nervously, "No, Jace, it's ok, you don't have to do that, Kaelie… we're just friends." I said despite my feeling of hurt when Jace just looked at me like he didn't know what to do._

 _Jace laughed nervously then put his smirk back and turned back to Kaelie._

 _Kaelie looked at me suspiciously, then turned back to Jace with a seductive smile._

 _"Fine, then ask me on a date,' she said with a smirk._

 _My heart literally stopped; actually, I think the whole world stopped. The music, the talking, the noises, everything just stopped in that one little second._

 _Jace glanced back towards me with a look of uncertainty and maybe, if I was seeing it right, disappointment._

 _I blinked back my weak annoying tears that crept into my eyes and said, "Don't look at me, I can't speak for you." I held my hands' palm up and shrugged, then gave a small struggling smile. I don't know why I was struggling, I mean Jace has had plenty of girls in the past few years, but this one, this one was different._

 _He turned to face Kaelie once more._

 _"Ummm…" He said after a pause, "Would you go on a date with me?" He asked sounding unsure of himself._

 _Kaelie just smiled._

 _I tuned out the rest of the night, which basically was them flirting while I put on a smile and acted like I was interested in everything they were saying. At the same time, my mind kept replaying everything that just happened. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore._

 _"I think I'm going to go," I interrupted their small talk as I pointed my thumb over my shoulder towards the restaurants front door._

 _"Clary, you don't need to leave," Jace said looking saddened that I wanted to go._

 _"Yeah, Clary, don't leave, we just reconnected. We need to catch up on all things we've missed since graduation," said Kaelie sounding sad._

 _"Nah, it's alright, I'm sure Jace can do that for me, I'm just getting really tired." I stood up from the booth and grabbed my purse._

 _"Oh ok, well it was so good to see you again," the other girl smiled brightly._

 _"Yea, it was great," I lied forcing a sincere smile._

 _"Clary, do you want me to walk you out?" Jace asked._

 _I didn't look at him when I said, "No, that's alright."_

 _After that, I turned and started to walk towards the door without another word._

 _I opened the door to the night air. I noticed belatedly that it was beginning to rain._

 _Just when I was about to start walking down the sidewalk, I felt a hand wrap around my arm._

 _"Clary?"_

 _I turned around to see Jace with a worried look on his face._

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Are you alright?" He asked after a pause._

 _"I'm fine Jace, I'm just really tired, ok?" I said. I sounded dejected even to my own ears, but I forced a smile to make it appear that I was fine._

 _His worried face didn't disappear. "Ok, but I'll call you tomorrow."_

 _I nodded and turned to walk away._

 _"Bye, Jace." I waved my hand and gave him a quick involuntary smile as I started my way into the night._

 _Unbeknownst to him, due to the rain sliding down my face, that I was crying._

*Flashback end*

"We're here Miss." I blink out of my memory and open the car door after paying the cab driver.

"Thanks!" I yell as I shut the car door behind me and jog to the front doors of the club.

Isabelle is standing by the doors looking as magnificent as ever in a red dress and black heels. As I get closer to the building, I can hear the music pounding from the inside of the club.

"Clary!" Isabelle opens her arms for a hug. I walk into her arms and hug her tightly. "Happy Birthday!"

"Hey Izzy"

I back out of her hug and looked over to the building.

"Should we head in?" I point my thumb to the building. I look back at Izzy to see her texting on her phone. Izzy looks up and smiles brightly.

"Yeah." She takes my hand and leads me inside the club.

 _Ok, Clary, you have to put on your best surprise face or else you will get Izzy's wrath._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All character owned by Cassandra Clare in the TMI series.**

 **Chapter 2**

The club smells of strong alcohol and cheap perfume, but despite the unwelcome aromas, Pandemonium is the place to go for an amazing party, or so Izzy claims. As we near the doors to the main floor of the club, I notice the sudden eerily quietness that descends upon the building and know exactly why it's so abruptly silent, but for Izzy's sake, I act oblivious to the unnatural state of the club.

Izzy looks back at me and smiles.

"SURPRISE!" At least a hundred people cheer as they jump out from behind their publically known hiding places as we enter the main room.

 _Here goes nothing Clary_

I fake the best-surprise face I have and turn to Izzy. "Isabelle Lightwood! You threw a surprise party for me?!" I hug her, as all the people around us go back to partying and the music is raised to the highest level possible.

"Of course I did! It's your birthday!"

I smile. "Thanks, Iz."

She hugs me one more time before heading to the bar to get some drinks.

Friends, acquaintances, and people I've never met before begin to swarm me in hums of "Happy Birthday" and questions like "How old are you?"

I've never really loved attention and having people I didn't know cling to me, even though they may have thought it to be friendly, it made me feel nervous and a little claustrophobic.

I dismiss myself from the group surrounding me and move towards the bar to see if I could find safety either though Izzy or Jace. I hadn't seen Jace yet which is a little surprising considering he usually would be the first one to greet me.

I spot Isabelle at the bar talking to a tall man with dark hair and a nice build. I didn't want to interrupt them so I made my way to the dance floor.

The dance floor is covered in people. Even though it is a different scene for me, I love the feeling of dancing in the crowded place. I feel like I'm just part of the crowd, not receiving much attention, and I was content with that feeling… until I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around to meet the smiling face of my best friend.

"Jace!" I jump up and hug him.

"Hey Birthday Girl," He says as he hugs me in return.

 _I wish he could hold me like this all the time…_

I realize that we've been hugging for a while when I suddenly jump back and glance around looking for Kaelie.

"Where's Kaelie, she's usually not too far from you," I say with a teasing smile, although all I feel is irritation at her being at my birthday party.

 _Well she is Jace's girlfriend and you've never told him your feelings, what'd ya expect?_

He glances around too, "She should be around here somewhere."

He suddenly looks nervous and glances around the room again.

"Look clary, before she finds us, I need to tell you something," He says hesitantly, his eyes darting around the room.

"Jace are you ok? You're acting like whatever you've got to say to me is some life-altering news or something, why don't we go dance for a bit, ya know? Let off some-"

"No, Clary seriously I need to tell you something before Kaelie decides to announce it to the whole world," He says as he pulls me to stop when I start dragging him to the dance floor.

"Announce what?" suddenly curious as to what could be so important that it has Jace wrapped up in a ball of anxiety.

"Happy Birthday biscuit!" Magnus interrupts our conversation with his not surprisingly energetic presence.

"Hey Magnus, thank you," I say giving him a smile small, successfully distracted from the previous conversation.

Alec shows up at Magnus' side. "Happy Birthday…" Alec says softly. I smile and say 'thank you' to him too.

"What are you two so hotly discussing?" Magnus inquires as he sips some of his cocktail.

"I was just about to tell Clary some important news, if only I could stop being interrupted..." Jace says while glaring at Magnus.

"Well don't get your panties in a twist over my presence, I was just coming over here to tell my favorite girl Happy Birthday," Magnus says while glaring right back.

"Ok," I said while awkwardly clapping as if trying to get their attention. "I'm gonna go to the bar to get myself a drink, Jace can you just tell me this "important news" later?"

I get halfway to the bar when Jace falls into step behind me. When I reach the bar, Jace comes up next to me and leans his body against the counter. I order my drink and turn to Jace.

"So where's my present?" I say to him with a cheeky grin.

He flushes slightly and smiles teasingly back. He pulls a small box out of his pocket and hands it over to me.

"Jace! I was just kidding! You didn't have to get me anything!" I said astonishingly. Secretly I was really excited to open it.

"Just open it," he grins.

Inside the box lies a beautiful, oval shaped locket. I pick it up and opened the locket. It holds a picture of Jace carrying me on his back from his latest birthday.

"Oh Jace! I love it!" I exclaim happily.

His grin is so big, it makes me smile even wider if that was even possible.

"I wanted you to think about me all the time, even though you already do that," he says jokingly.

 _You are so right._

I laugh in reply, "yeah right, in your dreams."

He laughs but then seems to remember something and turns hesitant like earlier.

"Anyways, back to the thing I wanted to tell you…"

"Oh yeah, I forgot that you were incessantly trying to tell me something," I smirk up at him.

"Umm, well, I don't really know how to word this right but- "

All the sudden the room fills with an annoying clanging sound as if someone were tapping on a wineglass with a spoon.

I turn around to face where the sound is coming from, but not before I see Jace's eyes briefly grow wide and look akin to horror towards the area behind me.

What my eyes land on is the stage on which one person stands.

That person is Kaelie.

 **AN: Hey people! I am sooooooooooo sorry for not updating in a year! Can you believe that?! A year! Anyway, I promise to try and never do that again. I am continuing this story and hope to make it super good.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **PAGE1OF365**


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